Last night I opened yet another transcendental Pandora’s box not realizing the irony of the fact that, being 2 o’clock in the morning it was officially Pi day. I have this rather unpractical habit you see of trying to resolve ancient mathematical paradoxes in a single evening. It’s ambitious, while largely unproductive yet educational and entertaining all the same.

While driving home I thought it quite unsatisfactory that the year has a fractional number of days in it and so resolved to look at the numbers and see if anything could be done about dismissing leap years, normalizing the length of the months and things of this nature . My apologies to Kepler, Galileo and the mathematical community in general for assuming this would be within my capabilities.

Half an hour after I got home I found myself entering data in the excel spreadsheet I’d created to compile *all* the many categories of numbers I found. Our understanding of our position in the universe, of course, is a relative one and so even the question ‘How long is a year’ is a subjective one. Furthermore, none of the lunar months or astronomical years I looked at were divisible by an integer number of days (or even seconds in many cases) and so I found myself once again in transcendental quicksand, with no foreseeable end to the quantity of significant digits that would suffice in pulling me out.

This afternoon I am patting myself on the head thinking ‘nice try killer’. I will have to rank this excursion with the time I tried to calibrate integers such that Pi and Euler’s constant would be whole numbers or the time I tried to reinvent music by splitting the difference between Pythagorean tuning and Equal Temperament. I concede for now. 1 is 1 and Pi is Pi. Regarding musical temperament however, I’ll get back to you.

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